The past month has been a roller coaster of emotions. I have had so many appointment and no answers. Tomorrow (Monday June 14th) I should finally know. I have an appointment with the cardiologist in the morning and then within an hour after that a doctor with my primary doctor. I will post my results then...as well as my no so fun experience with the cardiologist.
I am not happy I have had to wait a month to actually find out anything...... and not a lot has changed with me energy wise. I lost a few more pounds put nothing to be dancing in the streets...dancing? Hell I would like to walk down the street let alone dance.
Updates with 24 hours.
Taking it off!!
Him
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Day by day
I have lost about 12 pounds in the last 3 days. So it appears the medication is working. The swelling is down. But I am so warn out. I am always short of breath, I can barely walk a few feet and worse when I go up and down stairs. Needless to say this is NOT normal.
I got a call from the doctor's office...I need to go in Wednesday to go over blood work they took last week. It could be good news......or no news or even bad news. I think the no news is the worse. I want to know what is wrong.
I would like to have energy to do simple things. But I have feeling that may be a while.
Part of me I know I have myself to blame for my current condition. I was diagnosed with P.A.T and really just down played it since it really didn't seam to be a big deal other the watching my caffeine and alcohol...and of course the mute point of not smoking (which I don't). I should have taken better care of my health as far as my weight. But hind sight is 20/20. Then again what if it's a virus and there was really nothing I could have done about it.
Lets see how the rest of the week goes.
I got a call from the doctor's office...I need to go in Wednesday to go over blood work they took last week. It could be good news......or no news or even bad news. I think the no news is the worse. I want to know what is wrong.
I would like to have energy to do simple things. But I have feeling that may be a while.
Part of me I know I have myself to blame for my current condition. I was diagnosed with P.A.T and really just down played it since it really didn't seam to be a big deal other the watching my caffeine and alcohol...and of course the mute point of not smoking (which I don't). I should have taken better care of my health as far as my weight. But hind sight is 20/20. Then again what if it's a virus and there was really nothing I could have done about it.
Lets see how the rest of the week goes.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Reality Check
"I gave up. There is no other way to say it. I gave up. So much has happened in the last year I lost my drive. I am up to 280. That means I am 20 pounds shy of 300. How horrid!
I started back at the gym last week. Now that I am not traveling so much I am not sure what my long term goal is. But I do know I want to be under 200. I guess everyone has a relapse I just wish I didn't have them at all."
I wrote that, but didn't post it almost a two weeks ago. I have been really beating myself up for the weight gain. To say it is upsetting is an understatement. I started going to the gym again and I walk the dog every night. But I have more going on then what I had actually posted.
Yes I did gained back some of the weight I had lost a year ago. But it was gradual and I stayed at 265 for a few months. Then suddenly I gained 15 pounds in less then a 3 week time period. I lost the hearing in my left ear (over night) and my body is swelling (like feet, ankles, hands....). So here I am thinking this is just because I gained the weight back.
Things have started to get worse with the swelling and now I am on month 3 of limited if no hearing in my left year. I went to the doctor yesterday. He did all the standard tests, checking kidney's, thyroid , protein levels and so on. Then tell me to come back for a chest x-ray the next day. And a few other details I am going to leave out of this public post. What does it mean? I means for 24 hrs I was scared but tried to play it off as no big deal.
I had my x-ray today. My heart is enlarged. The best way I can describe it looks like a huge blob in my x-ray. So I am scheduled for a echo cardio on May 17th to find out what is going on. I mentioned the hearing loss (oh yeah found out the doctor offices were not sharing my records so he didn't have this little bit of information). So he thinks I might have a viral infection.
So what does this mean?
1) I am not really healthy right now
2) my sudden weight gain may not "just me being lazy"
3) I am scared and need to get my health in check because I am too young to have all these problems.
I can not do any cardo exercises until after my appointment, but I can still walk so Chico will be happy to know I will be taking him on his nightly walks.
I should be a lot more scared then I am right, but reality is I have been through issues before with my heart. When I was 14 I was diagnosed with PAT. But I still enlisted in the Navy and a healthy normal life.
I know, I know. If I have a heart condition then why have not taken better care of myself? I really cant answer that. I know better. Yet I let my health drastically deteriorate. I have avoided surgeries up until now since they were recommended but not critical, I don't know if I can say that for much longer. What surgeries? I don't wish to discuss them now.... I guess it is my way for denying the severity of a 38 year old woman being nearly 300 pounds.
Ridiculing me will do nothing. I have to make the change. I see the looks of disgust all the time from so called healthy people. Yes thank you I own a mirror, I am all to aware of what I look like. I didn't get this way over night. No I don't eat daily portions of donutes, pizza and soda or wht ever greasy fatty food while sitting on my butt watching Jerry Springer. I gained it over a period of time due to poor diet at times, lack of my once active routine and a whole lot of stress over the past 10 years. All that has changed now but it will take a while to see the results.
I am trying to stay positive. I am on some medication now that will help the swelling and hopefully will reduce the swelling around my heart. I am hoping this was caught in time, that I have not done any permanent damage.
One thing I know. I had my last relapse. If I want to see all my daughters graduate high school and college and start thier own families, I need to not just drop the weight, but change my life style.
I started back at the gym last week. Now that I am not traveling so much I am not sure what my long term goal is. But I do know I want to be under 200. I guess everyone has a relapse I just wish I didn't have them at all."
I wrote that, but didn't post it almost a two weeks ago. I have been really beating myself up for the weight gain. To say it is upsetting is an understatement. I started going to the gym again and I walk the dog every night. But I have more going on then what I had actually posted.
Yes I did gained back some of the weight I had lost a year ago. But it was gradual and I stayed at 265 for a few months. Then suddenly I gained 15 pounds in less then a 3 week time period. I lost the hearing in my left ear (over night) and my body is swelling (like feet, ankles, hands....). So here I am thinking this is just because I gained the weight back.
Things have started to get worse with the swelling and now I am on month 3 of limited if no hearing in my left year. I went to the doctor yesterday. He did all the standard tests, checking kidney's, thyroid , protein levels and so on. Then tell me to come back for a chest x-ray the next day. And a few other details I am going to leave out of this public post. What does it mean? I means for 24 hrs I was scared but tried to play it off as no big deal.
I had my x-ray today. My heart is enlarged. The best way I can describe it looks like a huge blob in my x-ray. So I am scheduled for a echo cardio on May 17th to find out what is going on. I mentioned the hearing loss (oh yeah found out the doctor offices were not sharing my records so he didn't have this little bit of information). So he thinks I might have a viral infection.
So what does this mean?
1) I am not really healthy right now
2) my sudden weight gain may not "just me being lazy"
3) I am scared and need to get my health in check because I am too young to have all these problems.
I can not do any cardo exercises until after my appointment, but I can still walk so Chico will be happy to know I will be taking him on his nightly walks.
I should be a lot more scared then I am right, but reality is I have been through issues before with my heart. When I was 14 I was diagnosed with PAT. But I still enlisted in the Navy and a healthy normal life.
I know, I know. If I have a heart condition then why have not taken better care of myself? I really cant answer that. I know better. Yet I let my health drastically deteriorate. I have avoided surgeries up until now since they were recommended but not critical, I don't know if I can say that for much longer. What surgeries? I don't wish to discuss them now.... I guess it is my way for denying the severity of a 38 year old woman being nearly 300 pounds.
Ridiculing me will do nothing. I have to make the change. I see the looks of disgust all the time from so called healthy people. Yes thank you I own a mirror, I am all to aware of what I look like. I didn't get this way over night. No I don't eat daily portions of donutes, pizza and soda or wht ever greasy fatty food while sitting on my butt watching Jerry Springer. I gained it over a period of time due to poor diet at times, lack of my once active routine and a whole lot of stress over the past 10 years. All that has changed now but it will take a while to see the results.
I am trying to stay positive. I am on some medication now that will help the swelling and hopefully will reduce the swelling around my heart. I am hoping this was caught in time, that I have not done any permanent damage.
One thing I know. I had my last relapse. If I want to see all my daughters graduate high school and college and start thier own families, I need to not just drop the weight, but change my life style.
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