They are plus-size models? But they are so Beautiful

They are Plus-Size Models? Wow, but they are so beautiful.

To my horror my own daughter spoke those words very recently.

So you think that if a woman is not a perfect size then she is not beautiful?

No, its just that I hear that plus-size models are gross and disgusting.

Do you think of me that way?

No. Guess its kinda stupid.

Yes I would have to agree that it would be stupid to have our children raised to believe the unrealistic views of true beauty. It was quite shocking to have my own daughter utter those words, but I know that I am not the only influence in her life.

I have tried very hard for my daughters to believe they are beauty, no matter what size they are. It has not been easy, even more so in the past few years living in Hawaii. When the majority of social influence is Asian, my girls stand out. All of them are tall, my oldest at 14 is almost 6 feet tall. None of them are overweight, sadly they don't see it when they are at a size 6 and their classmates are 1's and 0's.

I am at a loss at times of what to do in order to prevent poor body images.

Plus-size Modeling: By Chance

Last September my oldest daughter wanted to take a modeling/acting class. But since she was 13 she fell into the teen/adult class at the particular agency that was holding the class. Not wanting to be intimidated by the adults that may attend she asked if I would take the class with her.

I love acting, but really had not done anything since High School, which as you can image was more then a few years ago. I figured it wouldn't hurt and could be fun. So I agreed to go with her. It was a lot of fun. But there was a catch.

Part of the class package was photo portfolio. UGH! When it came to picture taking in our family I was always the one taking the pictures. I have always been a little above the social norm shall we say, in size. Though at one point I was a size 9, most of my adult life I have been between a size 14 and 26. At this particular time I was a size 2o/22.

I tried to talk my way out of my photo shoot, but it didn't work. What if I loose weight? Then we will re-shoot the pictures. What if I gain weight? You wont.

So I finally gave in, do I dare say it? It was SOO much fun!! I have always been the one fixing my girls hair and clothing so they look just right for their pictures, to have it turned around on me was a bit unnerving at first but then it felt great. Without a doubt I can not tell you when I have ever felt so Beautiful... Sad I know...I hate saying it in a way because it seems so egotistical. As if I need to knock myself back to reality. After all I was not suppose to think I was beautiful. Fat women are not suppose to think that way, right?

How messed up is that? I felt as if I needed to reprimand myself for even allowing the thought to creep into my head. But there is was. I was being treated like some size 0 model of perfection. And it felt great.

All the nasty demeaning views hammered into my being of how imperfect I was, were finally shattered. It was not enough that my husband and children are gorgous. After all there were stranger happening in the world then how a good looking, fit man would find even the slightest attraction to robust woman.

The fact that I never had an ugly boyfriend and that even at my heaviest I was still being hit on by good looking men, just didn’t seem to remove the stigma that I was not beautiful. After all isn’t that what I had been told all through my childhood?

Since I didn’t fit the social norm of perfection in my body type. I developed too young. At the age of 13 I was 5’8, 128 pounds and wore a 34 DD bra. The rest of the women in my family were short, 4’11’ to 5’4”. I was too tall. Then my mother being overweight didn’t help my chances with my grandparents approval, nor the fact my sister was also over weight.

I was constantly reminded by my grandparents that I was fat and unattractive. In their eyes I was also not very smart (but I will save that for another posting).
They were astonished when they saw pictures of my boyfriend, now husband.

“Oh he’s good looking”
“Thanks, were you expecting a frog or something?”
“Well don’t screw it up it up because when you are fat you can’t be picky”

With that kind of encouragement how could I go wrong? No wonder as an adult I was/am always surprised when men find me attractive. So when I had my daughters I vowed I would never let them believe they were substandard. No matter their size.

My daughters are beautiful and as much as that inner part of me still wants to punish me for saying this, they got it from both their parents.

Well back to the photo shoot……
Three days after the photo shoot I received a call from the agency.

“Macy’s is looking for plus-size models for their fashion show, can we send them one of your pictures.”

I hadn’t even seen the pictures yet! I said sure……

And that is how I became a Plus-Size model, by chance.
Oh and Yes I promptly picked up the phone and informed my grandmother of my modeling status.

I have done more fashion shows, a photo layout and gone on a few commercial auditions since then. What was something I did for the hell of it with my daughter actually turned out to be a life altering experience.

So I can proudly proclaim I am a Plus-size model, and loving it. Though I don’t do it on a regular basis due to the schedule on my full time job, it’s nice to know that if I wanted to pursue it more I could.

Does this mean I am completely happy with my size? Is any woman? I would like to lose some of the excess weight, I can still be a Plus-size model as a size 14! What I do know now more then anything. I am beautiful and its not wrong for me to think or say that…..ok maybe I do still feel a bit odd saying that…… But I am.

I have three, ok four, beautiful daughters and a handsome husband. Looks alone are not what makes the beauty. I know that a lot of it is our charm. Our thirst for life makes us even more attractive in the eyes of the world.

Though at times we need to remind our selves of that.